The Thanksgiving Weekend Paradox
Hello! Happy Thanksgiving, Substacklandia! I am grateful to all of you for reading and for thinking about how you want to use your unstructured time!
Thanksgiving is upon us! The long Thanksgiving Weekend is busy, but there is a lot of downtime. I feel exhausted, but I also feel as if I have done nothing. This is the Thanksgiving Weekend Paradox. To address the Thanksgiving Weekend paradox, I recommend you think intentionally about how you spend some of this time.
The long Thanksgiving weekend defines delightful chaos (emphasis on the chaos). It can be full of good food and good times. A chance to see family and friends and to forget about everyday life for a moment, but I often let the time get away from me. By the end of last year’s Thanksgiving weekend, my house looked like the FBI had just ransacked it looking for key evidence, my children were feral, and I resembled Homer Simpson marooned on his couch. I resolve to do – a little bit – better this year.
I define “doing better” as prioritizing the two activities I am most passionate about. I plan to write my morning pages. I call this an anchor activity. And I will add one bigger activity I really want to do, a family hike. I would be sad at the end of the weekend if I did not have quality time with my husband and kids while everyone is off work and school.
Permission to Have No Goals at All
First and most importantly, if Homer Simpson on the couch is what you want from this weekend, go for it! This is a no-judgement zone! Having no plans at all is a worthy goal! But I know I will feel better at the end of the weekend if I write my pages and have quality time with my kids.
One Small Activity: Establish (or Maintain) an Anchor Activity
An “Anchor Activity” is a phrase I made up! I will do an article on anchor activities in the future. In short, an anchor activity is a short (15-20 minute) activity that gives you a small sense of accomplishment for the day and connects you to something you want to do. The term applies perfectly to writing my daily pages. Every day I write three “morning pages.” Morning pages are a journaling practice from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I often write my morning pages in the afternoon when my son is napping. I do them every day without exception. Sometimes I even do them right before I go to bed if I have not found an opportunity during the day.
Writing my pages gives me a sense of accomplishment for the day, and it keeps me connected to writing. I recommend adding an anchor activity that connects you to yourself or the person you want to be. An anchor activity can be anything you choose. A few ideas include: doing the crossword every day, learning a new language with Duolingo, sudoku, stretching, a short walk, meditation, reading a whole article from start to finish, reading poetry or writing morning pages.
Accomplishing your anchor activity for the day, ideally in the morning, will give you a dopamine boost for the day and anchor your day around something you choose, even if your attention is largely taken up by other people (at this very moment, my daughter is bouncing a stuffed monkey on my shoulder and shouting oooohhhh-aaaaa-ahhhhh).
One Big Activity: Forced Fun!
I also recommend identifying one big thing that is important to you. Recruit the help you need to make that goal happen. My big goal for the week is to do a forced fun family excursion with my family, just the four of us. Every six months, my husband and I attempt to take the kids on a flat, kid-friendly mini-hike. After the first attempt, we carried our daughter home, kicking and screaming when she lost a beloved Big Bird figurine. Last year, we never left the parking lot at the trailhead because my son found the world’s most interesting puddle.
This year, I had to push the bike, scooter, and stroller, and a 4-year-old for two miles while my husband carried the 3-year-old on his shoulders. But we got to see the ocean, together.
Grateful for the Chaos
The rest of the week, I will be riding the waves of chaos like a seasoned windsurfer. As a parent of small children, the feeling of whiplash and exhaustion is inevitable. But I already feel good about our family outing and my writing session from today. I am grateful for my family, who help me and humor me on my journey.